Star Wars Gets Kinky

When you really get down to it, George Lucas had an affinity for subtle sexuality in his Star Wars film. The awkwardness that Luke and Leia must have felt after realizing they were brother and sister despite kissing earlier on is fertile ground for a dark comedy. In the hands of a skilled romance writer, Anakin’s and Padme’s struggles to maintain a secret relationship would’ve kept couples entranced. However, some people say that subtlety is really against the Star Wars ethos, and have pushed these themes into full-on pornographic films. Reviewing the various Star Wars-themed films that have been released over the years allows us to see the obvious truth: maybe’s there’s a reason Lucas didn’t include sex in an alien-heavy universe.

Star Babe

One of the first Star Wars xxx parodies, Star Babe was released in 1977 with a very thin plot involving three “Star Angels” sent to planet Phallus (easy with the innuendos there, fellas). One notable parody is a Wookie-like creature named Woogie, who at one point is seen smoking a cigarette while playing an Evel Knievel pinball machine. Darth Vader and a Stormtrooper also get in on the “action” in the movie. This parody was particularly heavy on woman-alien sex, not exactly everyone’s cup of tea.

Sex Wars

In contrast with Star Babe, this parody did use more analogues of actual Star Wars characters, such as Princess Layme as Leia, Brinker Duo as Han Solo (nice “double” entendre), and Mark Starkiller as Luke Skywalker. What also makes Sex Wars different from Star Babe is that most of the sexual contact occurs between humans, which most of us relate with better. Of course, there are a couple of sex acts with aliens in this film’s version of the Mos Eisley cantina. Just in case you’re into that sort of thing.

Hollywood-Sex-Wars

Space Nuts

This film also uses interesting names, calling its Han Solo figure Buzz Starfokker; on the other hand, the name of the universe where the story takes place is the Clitorian system, which probably didn’t take too long to figure out. The plot revolves around the building sexuality between Buzz and Princess Hubba Hubba, this film’s version of Leia. This film doesn’t exactly have too much of a connection to Star Wars beyond its two protagonists.

Porn Wars: Episode I

This installment, released in 2006, is more faithful to the themes of the Star Wars saga rather than its characters. The plot synopsis calls the protagonists “Jodi” warriors, and explains that these warriors are fighting “The Darkness.” Eh, close enough. This film also explores the Force as a sexual energy rather than just a power that can lift stuff. However, none of the characters are recognizable, although names such as Traley Sommersaid, Dart Forsennt and Sonnen Lightside show that the directors at least made an attempt to imitate the creativity of Star Wars names.

Star Wars XXX

One of the more recent xxx parodies of the franchise, released in 2012, Star Wars XXX is much more faithful than its predecessors to the Star Wars movies. Most of the characters more or less resemble their Star Wars counterparts. Anyone interested in incest will enjoy the Darth Vader-Leia scene. Chewbacca’s scene with a couple of Stormtroopers satisfies the growing furry crowd. Obi-Wan and a Tusken Raider… OK, I’m not sure who that’s aimed at. In any case, Star Wars XXX attempts to satisfy the gamut of desires that Star Wars fans have fantasied about at one point or another.

Star Wars was one of the first blockbuster films to spawn porn parody, so it’s safe to say that the genre is irreversibly intertwined with the franchise. As can be seen by this list, intertwined bodies of all types of species have been made available for anyone who enjoys a little “fantasy” with their sci-fi.

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